Today marks 5 days of bed rest! I have survived almost a full week...seems like it has been a lot longer. Time seems to cease. I can barely remember what day it is, much less when my next appointment is. Feel like I'm losing brain cells fast! Better get started on some word puzzles or something to keep my mind engaged. I've honestly been too tired to do much but can't sleep either. I have found that bed rest is far from what it is called. It can be stressful...I worry about my health, babies, health, and own obligations that I'm not filling. Friends and family have been amazing so far. I really feel bad that I have no control over anything right now other than bossing others around on what to do from my bed. You feel so helpless on bed rest. That is a good way to describe it. Like your on disability and can't move. My sprits are up though and feel the stress minimizing daily as I have friends and family who are helping keep my life on even keel for this present time. This is a time for me to learn a control lesson. Feel like I've learned this one before but obviously it hasn't been refined.... I wan't to say No, God..this is not what I signed up for and I'll take it from here. Instead I think He wants to empty my life but make it fuller at the same time. Well to catch everyone up to date , I met with the perinatologist on Sunday. It was my first visit with him and I was hoping...just "maybe" he had a better answer to give up after our ultrasound with him...but instead it was worse. I had gone in the wrong direction per se since sitting in the hospital on bed rest since Thursday! Great!! Basically with this baby we are more aware of and have been watching me closer and it is like a rock going down a hill fast...last time with Aubrey we weren't prepared and it rolled down anyway but this time we are trying to push it back up with resistance. Have done everything else so this is last step. I pray that getting good "bed rest" will actually help and slow this train down. At only 26 and 3 days I know Allie needs some more time to bake. I'm also out of control in some ways because I can only do so much. There is that word control again :) With preterm...they are likely to come when they are going to come. Can try to stop it though. I'm going to ask that everyone pray! God is more powerful than any statistic that I'll deliver early. I can do this:) With that being said...I knew rest and not stressing out were essential. Especially after seeing I had only gotten worse from being in the hospital I decided to ask my doctor this morning about home bed rest. A HUGE risk to take... but luckily he was confident in me to be compliant with extremely strict bed rest at home. This alone I hope and think will help. He said most people think bed rest is only ONE trip to walmart a day lol. I knew that this is serious business. It has to be! The only place I'll see will be from laying down unless I'm up for shower and bathroom and my appointment with specialist. I feel like I"m walking around on ice even at those times. Since getting released today I have slept better than I ever have. The mattresses at the hospital are made I think for camping trips haha. I was certain I would get a no when I asked but I had a good discussion on pros and cons for trying it and He was willing and open when he realized we would have a place to stay that would be conducive to rest. (and that isn't my house)..My wonderful in-laws who live very close by have so graciously let me basically 'move in'...so I am not tempted to do anything...its a fantastic plan. I don't rest well by my nature so not being at my house with my messes to see..not obligated to do a thing, but yet feel more comfortable already and much more relaxed. This has got to count for something when it comes to keeping her in...keep my stress down should help her as well. So just so everyone knows although I'm out of the hospital, I am still supposed to be doing everything like I would as if I was there, he is taking into account that I'm an educated person who can come right back if I am having any issues. Well, I just wanted to keep everyone informed. I opened a Facebook page as well so can keep everyone in the loop of what is going on and how to pray. We will have calendars out for sign up for meals, childcare, etc. I am feeling so overwhelmed how God is providing right now. We are good on dinners and everything right now since family will be out of school on break for a few weeks:) So just be watching for calendars, didn't want to refuse help but we will wait until we really need it to ask for meals. Thank you all in advance for your prayers, support, and encouragement through this. It's hard to think I could have 7-8 more weeks of this, but I will find strength one day at a time. Now..time for sleep.
One day at a time is right. I remember in the fall when I realized that as of that moment only complete stillness on the couch would keep my blood pressure at tolerable levels, and we had 8 weeks until the latest I was being allowed to go. It seemed impossible to make it that long! I had already been very inactive for a couple of months, and I just couldn't see how we could go on at even lower activity levels for all those weeks. One day at a time. And friends who help are a blessing--I think you're right that God has lessons for us in this enforced inactivity.
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